260709 | boys are so confusing PART 2

ughhh boys really are so confusing for me.

sometimes i wish he never contacted me in the first place because i'm very much scared that i will get attached to something that is only meant to be temporary. its especially difficult because we hardly know each other.. so its not like i can just communicate or have a serious conversation about what exactly he is looking for..

i'm very new to guys even pursuing me in the first place.. so i feel behind not only in that area but about what to expect or what i should be careful about. 

i have no idea if i'm the only girl he's currently talking to or if i even mean anything special to him... like am i just the new flavor of the week that he sees every sunday? just cuz he happens to be in the area??

i don't want to get attached but i feel like that line was already crossed when he became my first kiss. just why did i even let this happen????

i'm also very stupid socially so sometimes i dont understand stuff.. like he saved one of snaps that i sent but the way he responded seemed like he was making fun of me or maybe he was just trying to be funny. i wasn't sure how to respond and i think i didn't correctly because he didn't say anything afterwards. 

i felt so happy the beginning of the week but its been especially bad with my eating patterns. i have struggled with binge eating in the past and im very scared its coming back because of how emotionally conflicted i feel. it feels like im just entering a new low after a high.

AGHHH and i told myself i wouldn't get attached to this very clearly casual thing. i'm such a stupid girl.