A 3-Minute Song Just Gave Me An Existential Crisis

So I was listening to a song that's been keeping me in this loop, Japanese Denim by Daniel Caesar, and as the song begins to fade this line cuts in, 

"You don't even know me, You don't even know me, Yes".

and it made me question how people perceive and interpret me and my personality, my traits, my habits, my existence. These simple lyrics trigger a realization i'll never be able to shake. The deep and uncomfortable truth about life: no one will ever, truly know me.

⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹

Not my best friends, not my parents, not family, not even the person I sit next to in class. Absolutely no one.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Like just think about it. most of us spend 100% of our time trapped in our heads. You feel everything, those random thoughts midnight insecurities, and mood shifts. But the rest of the world? They know nothing. People have to piece together who we are based on what we show them. This made me spiral about how people perceive my entire existence: 

ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🪽་༘࿐

• The Labels: People take one trait and make it your entire personality, like you being quiet on a Monday.
• Your Routines: They analyze one habit you have, and just think they have you all figured out.
• Projections: Half the time, how someone interprets you has nothing to do with you at all. It's their own worldviews and drama bouncing off of you.

---

⡞⠳⣄⣀⣠⠞✿⢷ ֹ۪

And with this a very specific feeling that comes with knows you a just a mystery to the people around you. Even when you try your hardest to explain how you feel, words have always fallen short. Never being able to translate the version of you in your brain to someone else.

ᰔᩚ๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈·✦ᰔᩚ

I think it's best to stop looking at "You don't know me" as a sad thing. Maybe even treat like a cheat code for freedom

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

People only have a rough draft version of me in their heads. I don't owe anyone a performance that matches the version of me they created. My existence is entirely mine to figure out, protect, and change however and whenever I want. Like Daniel Caesar says earlier in the song, "My blue jeans, Will last me all, My life". We are all just trying to find something that lasts. And maybe the most permanent thing we have is the version of ourselves we keep to ourselves 

-xoxo, riley💋