a quick tutorial on how to sail home from here

i'm laying down in bed and all that bothers crossing my mind nowadays is the past and everything between us

i'm the flames to your firetruck and you're the antidote to the raging virus surging through my veins

i've realized i'm not even in love with you anymore, i just can't let go

as much distance as we create between ourselves, we will always end up crawling back to each other

we were never meant to be lovers and we were certainly never meant to be anything less than friends

at best, we're two people held together by the universe and a label that's screaming "don't label me !1!1"

at worst, we've been doomed to forever be inseparable

i'm tearing off my lips and clawing away at my eyes yet i still yearn for you in every way imaginable

watching as you carve open your chest and i'm beginning to wonder how cozy and warm it would be if i slithered inside

your heart has no space for me left inside so the best i can do is get all close to it

collapsing from the weight of our situation and please tell me this will be over by tomorrow

we both know it's a lie but the truth is no better than a red hot knife

i'm flustered and blushing and embarrassed because i'm as red as my hair

you've always thought i looked good no matter what color i go

i tried to avoid going for such a bold color because i believed that i didn't need to signal like a peacock for some attention because you'd always be by my side

i mean, that isn't entirely the truth, but it's not entirely a lie either

our whole relationship has always been this murky gray

i'm an envious black that will devour you whole and you're a "pure" white that virtue-signals as a saint amongst this filth

i'm a violent red that will splatter and stain everything i touch and you're a vivid blue that peacefully prances around

i'm a toxic pink that begs you to stay away and you're a calm forest green that still comforts me even while i make the both of us shed blood

i'm everything you're not and god do i envy you

you're not perfect or divine or heavenly but god are you better than any version the future holds for me

you're everything and i'm nothing and i truly believe that's why we're stuck together

life can only exist with death and i can only exist with you