A Series of Complaints. Volume 1. Part 14.

 (•˕ •マ.ᐟComplaint number one. I can't remember to check my planner. When do I need to check it? I check it all the time. But for some reason. I totally forgot about it. Austin Book Fest. I just came back from the PNW like 5 days ago and now I gotta go to Austin. I just need some time to recover. You know man, I need to space this stuff out. Gotta reduce anxiety today. Gonna drink some tea. Do some meditation. Relax. Play World of Warcraft forever and sip tea. This sounds like a good idea. But of course, I can't do that 'cause I must do laundry.

(•˕ •マ.ᐟComplaint number two. Not thinking about the wildlife in your neighborhood? In the morning, I take a walk. At like 4:00 in the morning. There are deer. For some reason. I saw a buck yesterday. It's weird. There he was, just in town in someone's driveway, standing there looking at me. I was like, whoa. Today I saw Christmas ornaments. In someone's front yard. Christmas decorations, I guess. Seems a little early. But, you know, whatever. The problem is that the Christmas decorations are life size crystal translucent deer covered in Christmas lights. And it's like, have this, these people. Thought of the deer. At night that might wander into their yard and see this Christmas light, dear. I can only imagine. If I were a deer. And I got lost in a neighborhood that was trying to find my way out. I came across the yard. And there's like a buck. Made of lights. Looking majestic. I wouldn't know what to think. I don't know if this is fair to the animals to do this.

(•˕ •マ.ᐟComplaint number three. I can't, no matter how hard I try, get. Two expressions that go across my face at the same time. Somehow, Paul Reubens as Pee Wee Herman could have a look on his face that would. Show you that it seemed perfectly ridiculous to him. And at the same time, a look that meant he loved it. How can I have a look on my face that says I can't believe how ridiculous it is and simultaneously look like it's the best thing that I've ever seen. I've been trying. But I don't think I can. I think it might have been a one of a kind talent.