A Series of Complaints. Volume 1. Part 6.

     (•˕ •マⳊComplaint number one. Fountains with no water in them. Oh man, why would you ever have a fountain without any water? If the water doesn’t work anymore, you gotta take the fountain down. I don’t know. Maybe it’s a big fountain. Maybe it’s a pain in the neck. But somebody’s coming around the corner, they see the fountain, and they’re getting out a couple of coins. They’re gonna make a little wish. They walk over. No water. It’s terrible. Such a great water feature. Such a wasted opportunity.
     (•˕ •マⳊComplaint number two. I can’t believe I can’t be some kind of super smart food scientist and figure out how to make peanut M&Ms have no calories. I need to eat them all the time. They taste so good. Somehow, if I were a genius, I could take the damn calories out and just crunch those bad boys all day. Man, whatever they’re doing, they’ve got my taste buds figured out. I understand it’s a personal preference, but dude. They’re good.
     (•˕ •マⳊ Complaint number three. I need a freezer where I can use all the cubic footage for ice cream and ice. You always have to leave space behind the frozen stuff and in front of it so the air can circulate and everything freezes evenly. I look at that space and think, man, what a waste. Somehow, somebody needs to make it freeze everything without needing all that room for the air to move around. I don’t know how. I just need that space.
     ≽^• ˕ • ྀི≼⋆🐾°I could put some more popsicles there.