A Series of Complaints. Volume 1. Part 7.

     (•˕ •マ.ᐟComplaint number one. There’s a thing going on. A new thing or something. A meme, a video, whatever it is. A trend. And then so many people pop up on the internet to explain it. It’s crazy. I appreciate an explanation, but it gets to a point where there are seven people explaining the same thing. Then people start explaining the explanation videos, and then somebody’s reacting to the explanations. It’s like, I don’t know, dude. There’s something strange about it when everybody’s trying to get clicks and make money.
It reminds me of the old days with the newspapers. “Get your news here! Get your news here! Quick, everybody, look over here! This paper’s got the best news! Come over here!” And it’s like, whoa. 
     (•˕ •マ.ᐟComplaint number two. I hate getting a stain on my favorite shirt. You’re minding your own business, getting ready to go. You look in the mirror, and there it is. Grease. Probably from some cheese sticks. Oh, tasty, tasty mozzarella. Mmm. Or some tasty pizza. Anyway, that’s beside the point. The stain’s there.
      You do a little pretreating, throw it in the washing machine, and think, okay. We’ve got this. Nay. Nay. You take it out, and nope. Still there. It’s sad. I loved you, shirt. And now you’re stained. We live in the future, and I still can’t get this spot out. Goodbye.
     (•˕ •マ.ᐟComplaint number three. I’m pretty sure aliens ain’t real. Pretty sure. I’ve been checking this stuff out for a long time, and it seems like by now there would be something that made me go, “Oh my goodness. Aliens.” But I haven’t seen it. Never seen a gray. Never seen the reptile ones. Never seen the tall whites. There are some Norse looking ones, they say. Haven’t seen those guys either.
     I’ve never seen a spaceship. I’ve seen some crazy lights in the sky, and one time I saw something come down that looked like it landed. That was weird. But I didn’t go check it out, because I wasn’t gonna. So I can’t tell you what that was. I can tell you I never saw any aliens.
     I guess I’m going to have to say I don’t think there are any unless I see some, which I haven’t. I don’t know. You’d think there could at least be something suspicious. I’ve seen some pictures of spaceships that look pretty good. But then I’m sitting there looking at a picture. I don’t know, dude, maybe.≽^• ˕ • ྀི≼