A Series of Complaints. Volume 1. Part 9.

     ≽(-˕ - ≼マComplaint number one. I noticed that in old cartoons, Warner Brothers stuff, Looney Tunes, Merrie Melodies, (whatever) somebody’s always screaming, “Why doesn’t anybody tell me these things?” It happened enough that I started wondering, did people used to tell you these things? Was somebody keeping everybody informed? Like in the 40s and 50s.
     Older people have relevant information. They’ve been here. They know things. But sometimes they don’t seem to realize which parts would be relevant to you personally. They’ve got eighty years of information to sift through, and somehow the thing they pick is whatever was on the news this morning. Dude, I can get that. I need the stuff only you know.
      They’ll ramble around until somebody tells them to quit rambling, and then they quit talking altogether. No, wait. There was probably something good in there. We just hadn’t gotten to it yet. I need information. If you want to talk politics, tell me what was happening in 1962. For real. What did you think was happening? What did everybody get wrong? You were standing right there. Help me out. No clear answers.

     ≽(-˕ - ≼マComplaint number two. Right when you get a pair of shoes worn in really good, they wear out. Man, no. These are good. These shoes are awesome. But they just fit so easy so cozy, hen you look down, and the sole’s flopping around.
You get some Shoe Goo. Try to patch them up. You’re holding the shoe together, thinking, maybe we can get through this. But you know. It’s too late. Obviously, if you’ve got shoes with a Goodyear welt, go get them repaired. But most of mine aren’t like that. My Chucks come apart, man. It’s the end.
     Right when they were so comfortable. At the very best part. No. Why?
      ≽(-˕ - ≼マ Complaint number three. I don’t need to sign up for another website. I don’t. Just show me the content. Maybe I need a new hat. Maybe I just want to see a hat. We haven’t gotten far enough into this for you to need my information.
I’m going to the grocery store’s website to see how much some bananas cost. Maybe get them delivered. Maybe a pizza. Maybe some Reese’s Pieces. Some M&M’s. Some peanut M&M’s. I don’t know yet. I’m looking around. But before I can even see what’s happening, they want me to fill everything out.
       Dude, I was just looking. How are you supposed to surf the web if you have to stop and fill all this stuff out? It’s called surf the web, not fill out form the web.