Abandoned dreams

Have you ever had a dream that you really, really wished upon every night? worked hard towards it, thought of it constantly to the point it became a part of you?

for me, it was visiting japan. i had always loved japanese culture, so from the age of 10 i'd always say that one day i'd visit (and perhaps move) to japan. i read books upon books about what it's like over there, it's history, it's roots, the way of life-- all facts that i can barely remember now.

i spent two hours everyday learning japanese on apps like Umi and duolingo. slowly, my dream started inching closer and closer-- and then i was 14.

school was busy, my life was dull, i had no motivation to do anything but get up, get my bus, do my work and go home. and so, my two hours a day faded into one, and then thirty minutes, and then nothing at all.

when life gets hectic, things that you care about tend to be whisked away as quickly as they came, before you can even notice. one day, i couldn't even remember the basic phrases i worked so hard to read and write. the logical part of me looked at the prices of travel and then my grades and decided "well, maybe some day."

when it used to be "one day."

now, i still love japan. it's media and culture is a huge part of me, forever. a part of me still tells myself that when i'm forty, i'll go to japan, stay there, and maybe settle down. i'm not a dreamer anymore, though. the books i used to read sit dusty on my shelves.

it's funny that something that consumed me has now become something that is a possibility. 

what was your dream?