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am i gonna die alone

i can say with like 90% certainty that the guy i've had a crush on for nearly a year likes me back and for some reason i just dont want to be with him

like i feel romantic and sexual attraction but for some reason the thought of doing anything sexual or being in a relationship sickens me to my fucking core like legitimately i cant stand it

so im inclined to say "maybe i just dont like him maybe i should wait for a guy im not scared of or disgusted by" but like what if i never find him

and like it never used to be this bad like i cant even look at porn anymore i think im just repulsed by sex

and not even just that like i can barely imagine touching him

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I think you should go for it and ask him out. A year is a long time to have feelings for someone. I would take it one step at a time and see where it goes. Sex should be treated as a bonus to a relationship not the foundation.