Best friend for 4 years.

I have this friend whom I’ve known for 4 years. He’s like my best friend, but lately I’ve been contemplating because I’ve liked him for about 3 years now. It wasn’t consistent because I never wanted it to become serious since I didn’t want to lose him as a friend. I also used to like another guy too, his friend (our friend), for 4 years, though that wasn’t consistent either.

He’s the type to cling to me. He’s kind of a gentleman, like he lets me rest on him. He pets my head and touches my hair, which is rare because I don’t like it when other people do that. Maybe that’s the reason why I started liking him :)))

I’ve already moved on from the other guy, and now I’m contemplating whether I should confess or not. I already chatted him that I want to tell him something, but I suddenly felt guilty.

I’ve been by his side for 4 years. I supported him when he liked someone, and I always pushed him to make a move. I’m genuine with him. I don’t do those things just because I like him, I do them because he’s special to me. I believe he deserves the love that he gives.

Now I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose him, but if I don’t get this off my chest, I feel like I’m going to explode.