blacked out on halloween, the only person i would want to spend immortality with. (luke pickett)

you blacked out on halloween. its funny how the only version of you i can keep in my life is the concept of your contact in my phone, because dragging my finger across the screen that contains the hint of your consciousness makes me sick to my stomach. i dont think im above you, i never could, but i just wish i could stoop down to your level for just a moment. 

luke pickett was your secret you shared with only me, and another denies that secret we had. but i cant help believing that he belongs to only You and I. just like that playlist i will keep nestled at the very bottom of my catalog, containing things sacred for only between Our touch. i like your eyes better when they're fixed on me (but i feel my eyes will forever be fixed on you, turn your back to me again because it hurts to feel your direct vision). 

you were playing with fireworks and i was standing back in fear, but observing the wonderful colours that you produced for me and only me. when you would glance forwards at me from where you resided i felt i would stay in this moment forever, do you remember when you said i was the only one you would want to be immortal with? i still believe that for myself. 

love is not so easily lost, and i wish i could see yours, if it was true. for now ill pretend that i dont miss the smell of cigarettes, and that i will never check the flannel section of value village again. my corsage is on my nightstand and your shirt in my laundry basket. risque. 

please give me a call, if you return the desire to touch again. 

the helpless and desperate shape of an imperfect girl, ready to step back from moving on,

semi-sweet.