blog entry 11/10/26

ok I'm just gonna start yapping sometimes on here there's so much going on in my life and it's chaos so why not talk abt it

so i'm lowkey falling back into another mdd episode I'm like fighting for my life trying to ignore it LMAO I had a breakdown at school yesterday like the moment I got there and ended up having to go home. I thought prozac was helping but bro this isn't doing SHIIIIIT. I feel like no treatment or medication helps like i was diagnosed when I was like 9-10 ish 😭 like bruh

but ignoring that shitty part I chopped my hair off and it feels so nice I'm so glad I did that dude. I feel like I want to present more masculine I just don't want to be bullied again so idk. I love wearing makeup and stuff cause it makes me feel pretty but like i feel more me when I'm more masc or androgynous looking. 

I get to visit my dad in a couple weeks. I hate plane rides but it's okay I just need to download a lot of music to listen to. i'll miss my friends though, I'll be down there from November 23-december 3 which is a day before my birthday guuullllpppp. i'll also be missing 6 days of school and I've already missed a LOTTT of school so I might be fucked but wtv I guess LMAO. honestly I really want to go online but i'd miss choir a lot. ik there's other local choirs but I love the feeling of high school choir concerts and this is my senior year. I'll have to just think abt it. 

i can't wait for my birthday i'm gonna be 18 and I'm so hyped. I want to get tf out of this house so bad. I have to get a job so I can move out asap

ok bye now