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The concept of man and woman was socially constructed, so it's been ingrained in everyone through conservatism. When a man, or a woman, breaks that pattern of the two genders completing each other, it gets read as them being on the other side ("oh, you like men? Then you're a woman. Oh, you like women? Then you're a man").

For women, there's this tendency to masculinise them and fetishise their relationships, because everyone knows the world is male-centred. For men, there's mockery cause they equate men liking men with feminisation, so they automatically read the shorter, calmer, or more fluid guy as "the woman" in the relationship. That's why they came up with the word "Fag/faggot" as an insult (fun fact: the word fag in my country is a pun on deer.. an animal that, despite being male, still has a delicate look)

They are not scared