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It gets difficult and you'd probably think that things will never change, but you're just 18 and there's a whole life ahead of you, and there's still time, there will always be. Friends come and go, but you're more than simply the shadow of those who accompany you along your path. You're worth more than their absence. It may take time, but one day you'll find someone who will stick with you; however, if you think there's no one to love you atm, learn to love yourself. I wish you the best, don't give up <3

 In the end everything will be okay, and if not, it means it's not the end yet. 

I totally understand what you mean, even if I cannot feel the exact same but all this also happened to me. At some point I've yearned for company, I yearned for someone to be there for me. But in the end I recognized, that being with people isn't everything in life. I became content with my own loneliness. Even if I hated being alone, I got used to it, I got comforted by things that transcends an ordinary human interaction. I hope you'll feel better, even if I cannot help you so much. And these people don't deserve you, because you are aware of what person you actually are.

Just eat more, say those mantras I gave you weeks ago. Source of all your problems.

also! i once used to believe it wasnt true that life could get better u thought it was lies and manipulation and people just being lazy and saying what’s convenient to make me feel better! but everything has a stim, ever problem has a root, when i found my roots, and i found my stims only then could i let go , breathe and start to live again! i hope you do consider talking to me! ive helped so mnay people and my twin does that for a living lol but im great with advice and helping people feel better! im sorry about that.

please dont hurt yourself! its so much to life after we get over the sadness. loneliness can feel deafening but in the end your always gonna feel lonely sometimes its in human nature! but you cant let that sadness consume you. its only to be down but its important we get back up again! and please text me! we can be friends and you can tell me about everything and you can vent and complain and so much! ive been in your shoes before and its not so fun and im so sorry thats how you feel! but life is like a house of card if you let the wind of emotions blow to hard, it will all fall down!! 

I'm not exactly sure of what's going on exactly, but you need to know that many people love you and care about you. Please call 988 if you need to, it's anonymous, and the people there are amazing at what they do.