Diary for July 26th LOGGING ON 💻

July 26th, 2004

There is something weird about logging on.

Not just opening a website. Not just checking something for five minutes and then accidentally spending three hours scrolling through things you don't even care about.

I mean actually logging on.

Turning on the computer.

Waiting.

Listening to the machine make all those weird noises while the screen slowly comes to life.

For a few seconds, you just sit there.

Waiting for the internet to exist.

And then suddenly you're in.

The little connection icon is there. The screen is glowing. The whole world is sitting in front of you, but somehow it still feels smaller than it does now.

You don't have a million things happening at once.

You just go somewhere.

You check your profile.

You see if anyone commented.

You look at your messages.

Maybe someone left you a note.

Maybe someone didn't.

Maybe you just sit there listening to music and staring at the screen while pretending you're doing something important.

Honestly, I kind of love it.

The internet feels different when you have to actually choose to go there.

It feels like a place.

Like a secret little room that only exists when the computer is turned on.

Tonight I logged on and just stayed there for a while.

No real reason.

I listened to music.

I looked at profiles.

I thought about things.

I probably should have gone outside.

But the screen was glowing, the music was playing, and for a little while, the rest of the world felt very far away.

Maybe that's what I like about being online.

You can be whoever you want to be.

You can make a page.

Choose a picture.

Write something dramatic.

Leave a comment.

Disappear.

Come back later.

And maybe someone will have noticed you were gone.

Anyway.

I'm logging off now.

Probably.

Maybe.

Actually, I might just stay on a little longer.

xoxo,

𝕸𝖞𝕮𝖍𝖊𝖒𝖎𝖈𝖆𝖑𝕯𝖆𝖘𝖍⛧