Dread of School

I think my genuine (and late-felt) dread for school can stem in the familiarity of home I get accustomed to every time I come back here (summers) and how peak it is. I have things to look forward to, I do. I have sports, my friends (though it would be better if I lived with her and not across from her), my non-varsity athlete schedule. But I also dread things...working, going to classes by myself, not making any friends as a transfer student, my roommate being cold, not being cool. I think the more I delay my stunt career, the more sickly I will feel, the more the constant guilt and anxiety of wasting my prime years will overbear my consciousness. I must make moves this year. I must be productive. But I also must enjoy life, but how to enjoy life without money? I need a job. But jobs suck up time I could be spending improving my skills and chasing my dreams (film and stunt work, marine biology work, wildlife rehabilitation, photography). I feel like I have too many dreams to chase and not enough time to figure out which one is the one I have passion for. I've never felt passion. I know of these dreams based on the idea of what they could offer, but I know nothing of true passion. How must I find my purpose, or at the minimum my enjoyable standard of what "work" is while I have to go to school and work to not fall behind.

I'm getting a degree that could be useless. That I'm not even sure of. I have no talents other than being able to not be an alcoholic which apparently is rare. And, I don't know of passion enough to have a dream. I envy those who have dreams, who feel that it is their life purpose to pursue something great. I want to be great, I just don't know in which way. Astronaut? Famous stunt actor? Federal special agent? 6 figure making lawyer? I want people to be in awe at my high school reunion. I want to be of status but also nobility. A soldier? I want to enjoy my life. Maybe I am not meant for it. Maybe I am meant for something smaller. Seasonal jobs. A surf instructor, a beach bartender, a hiking guide. I am interested in space, animals, the water, the weather. But in no way do these interests amount to anything. 

If someone has found the answer to life please let me know. In the meantime, I will suffer.