poetry

awake

i lie awake sitting on my bed

next to me laid a girl, smiling and laughing

she told me her name, her story and all

and while i listened i could help but fall

fall off the bridge i imagined close in my head

fall of the deep end where i had bruised myself and bled

she asked me how i was, my mind was scattered

as if i would prefer my brain be splattered 

so once again i wept in her arms

the girl i wished to be, with all her charm

i told her all things, good, bad, jealous too

clawing at the idea while i muttered 

“why can’t i be you.”

“why cant i be you with your senseless idiotic heart. why must i put myself through this sorrow and wait to restart.”

the girl listened to my woes, the tears and all

as i made it through my emotions slowly with a crawl

i laid there awake for a long time

wondering how i could stop the evergrowing aches