Apprehension

I'm always very hesitant when I become interested in a person. My feelings are very complicated and it is hard for me to allow myself these kinds of feelings. I have a bad history with relationships and have trouble connecting with other people beyond a surface level. I've had the tendency to be drawn towards people that are not good for me in the slightest. They've been mean, unsupportive, and overly pushy. I'm worried that I'm interested in someone new and I don't really know what to do. 

We do track together and we met through a mutual friend. From the beginning, I was attracted to him. I find a lot of people attractive, that's just the way my brain operates, so attraction alone isn't that big of a deal. We originally only briefly talked before practices, as we didn't do the same events. I did hurdles and javelin, he did pole vaulting. Half-way through the season, he joined hurdles. This sharing of an event brought us significantally closer together, and now we hang out during lunch everyday. As we hung out more and more, my small attaction developed into something more. I can't think properly when he's around, its like I've gone completely dumb. I laugh and babble like an idiot, I get so totally distracted at practice, and it FRUSTRATES me. Everytime we touch, I turn a bright reddd and its soo obvious. I'm what I like to call directionally challenged and I bump into things a lot. Whenever he sees me about to bump into something or someone, he physically grabs me to pull me away from the object and my stomach flutters rlly bad.

He's completely unlike what I'm used to. He's smart and funny, athletic, but he's also super duper religious. I am not against religion in the slightest, but I dont wanna be the person that makes him feel the need to pick between the two. I, being openly trans, could pose a potential problem. As far as I know, he's straight, and even if he wasn't, he still might not act on it. No hate at all to the mormon religion (as it is not my place to comment on their practices or beliefs), but I am well aware that they may not be the biggest fan of transgender people. They aren't gonna go out of their way to harm them, at least most wouldn't, but they certainly don't encourage the idea of transgenderism. He's... relatively accepting of it (I think?) I mean, he's asked questions, but he's been respectful. But I'm just worried that, in some alternate universe where he was interested in me, he wouldn't do it just because of me being trans. 

I also don't wanna risk potentially ruining our friendship. Hes a really good friend and I enjoy his company. If I were to confess and if he were to reject me, it would make things really awkward for a long time. It wouldnt just be us, it'd be the whole friend group being put into an awkward situation, as we share a lot of the same friends.

T-T

Rant over