Okay

I really wanted to show my step-dad a card trick I learned since things haven't been too bad lately, maybe he didn't care that's okay I don't care either I just wish I knew more people, if I knew more people I'd have more people to show my magic tricks or maybe my ducks! Or or my card collection I have online friends but it still gets lonely you know? And when I do tell some of them they don't actually seem to care that hurts but I guess I'd rather have them then be completely alone that's probably why I'm excited for school, I feel less lonely when around other people my age I like hearing them talk even if it's about something stupid, I DEFINITELY like having a chance to talk, though I have a hard time talking that's most likely my fault or actually my mom's fault she homeschooled me a lot so I guess I didn't actually have a chance to learn how to socialize and it was as if every time I made a friend I got taken from that, and last year well I had a good bit of friends well I thought so I don't know if all the people I saw as friends saw me as a friend but still, of course I didn't interact first I wanted to talk to them more outside of school but I was too shy to ask and I was embarrassed cause the only things I had were: Roblox, Xbox, and my mom's phone, and not everyone has that stuff and I was so unbelievably embarrassed at the thought of having to use my mom's phone to talk to MY friend's I was TWELVE, I guess maybe I should've taken that but I don't know it's not like it was MY phone, my mom would be able to see every message, and that made me uncomfortable, I might've ruined what I had anyway, my mom didn't really force me to go the last few days, then she got pregnant so I didn't go back to school, if I can be honest if I hadn't met this girl Naiyh on Roblox which then led to me meeting Enzie, I'm not friends with those two anymore though and maybe I ruined their friendship because not a few days later they both unfriended each other but I'm kinda grateful for Naiyh because I met the most wonderful person ever ALEEEEEEEEE he's awsome, then MY best friend Lili I actually met her first but we didn't talk much until a while after if I hadn't met them I might not have made it to this day. ANWAY sorry for all this I just needed to let out some stuff