Review: Skye Hoshi: Anime Girl.

Skye Hoshi: Anime Girl is a fantasy comedy-romance movie directed by Kalani Hubbard and stars Olivia Roldan and Hunter Kohl.

The film revolves around the comic store clerk Atom (Kohl) who wishes for his favorite anime character, Skye Hoshi (Roldan), to come to life, inadvertently causes her to be removed from her media entirely which forces the two to look for a way to get her back in her anime before the time limit on Atom's wish runs out, which would kill Skye Hoshi entirely.

I hate this movie. I hate how hard this film tries to make the geeky comic reading weeaboo character work, I hate how just awful the "villain" is, I hate every second of this stupid movie that tries to appeal to, not a real person who likes anime, but the stereotypical portrayal of one you'd seen in 2013. 

And I hate just how outdated it feels over all. This isn't a film I would expect from 3 years ago, it feels more like a Youtube video I would have seen on Corridor Crew's channel a decade ago back when they were still good.

I wish the plot's weird mishmash of Ted and Last Action Hero and Fat Albert was in a better movie, it COULD have worked as like a comedy-drama or a like, action movie I guess as it was a good concept. But no, this film wasted time with an awkward "I wish my bodypillow was my girlfriend" romance plot.

Atom feels, no, IS the type of character who would dream his anime poster fell in love with him. This man eats and treats Top Ramen (instant ramen about as old as Maruchan) like it's the best food he has ever had. It's not, I've eaten a lot of Maruchan, and it's sad depressing noodles for sad depressed people like me. It's not good food, it's not gourmet, it's not the best food to ever grace humanity, and it's not good instant noodles. It pisses me off seeing this man and Skye Hoshi be like "Ohhh man it's SOOOO GOOD who would ever want to eat anything else?" I literally ate Maruchan in the middle of watching the movie and I can confirm I did not share this sentiment with him.

You know what else I didn't like about this guy? He hasn't even seen Skye Hoshi. For a guy so in love with the anime and the character he doesn't even know basic "Season one stuff" as pointed out by Marvin.

And honestly, half the romance in this film is just an ad for Top Ramen, like it's a main plot point on how much Skye Hoshi really loves ramen after Atom cooked some for her.

Kira, one of Atom's bandmates, is one of the most inane "villains" I've seen in my whole life, not just in film. You're telling me out of everyone you could've thought of to be the bad guy of a movie like this, you made the bad guy Atom's bandmate who friendzoned him. I don't get it, her whole personality in this film is just "Ugh stupid Atom, stupid anime, stupid band and stupid cosplayer girlfriend that I don't know how could like a loser like Atom." That's it, nothing more to it. I'm not exaggerating that is all her lines of dialogue summed up. In both of her interactions with Skye Hoshi Kira is like, "Why do you like Atom? He's a loser and I guess only a LOSER like you could like a guy like him." I really don't like how Kira was written in this movie, her role as a villain is so shoehorned in this film could've been better without a villain in the first place. 

And you know what, I did like some parts of this film. I liked Mr. Mario, I liked Marvin, I liked that Tomagotchi song, I liked Good Magical Morning, and I liked the Judge Dredd gun that is only used five times total (I counted in the middle of writing this) to remind you "Hey, there's a cool space gun that can atomize people. But we won't use it!"

I liked the anime convention parts too, they mention it really early on as a sorta chekhov's gun I guess and when they go to the convention it is one of the only parts of the film I liked. Sure, it was more or less a montage of Olivia Langdon walking around along with the occasional shot of other cosplayers, banners, merch, all kinda like a vlog and I really enjoyed it, more than literally the rest of this film. Even though it's only like, 5 minutes out of a near 2 hour film.

And also, this film does look kinda good. It has that like, Corridor Crew skit look to it and I really enjoyed that era of content back in like 2016, but with awful acting, story execution, downright awful writing and more plot holes than a slice of swiss cheese, it's hard to find a good part of this film to talk about to the point I really am grasping at straws.

Let me tell you something before I wrap things up, I have to respect this film. I know I've dropped solid vitriol into this review, but Kalani had a vision and he made this film happen. He made this film, he's the one that (I assume) went to an actual anime convention to record the scenes, and he's the guy who was one of the hosts of Good Magical Morning, which I did find endearingly nostalgic. You know, if this came out like, 10-15 years ago ago I would've probably enjoyed it more because I probably would've watched it as a kid and would've gotten nostalgic over it.

I genuinely cannot recommend this film. I formally apologized to Bulletproof Monk, it's so much better than I thought and I only hated it because I was sick, but I wasn't sick when I watched Skye Hoshi and I wish I was sick, because then I would've had the courage to click off this film.

That's all for now, Love and Peace!