what pisses me off (rant about TERFs and some progressive activists)

Eh not really. They do think like that, maybe not in spaces you hang around with. (the thing in quotes from this blog is a translation of the message I received from a TERF.) You got your own exposure to TERFs and I got mine. Why do you think trans people push gender roles and limit what women and men are? And what did you mean by putting "(sex)" at the end ?

By sex I mean I am referring to the gender or sex you're born with I put it since many people say there is a difference however I'm not too fond of it so it was a measure ig, but to remove labels and titles off of the two genders of men and women we push against stereotypes. For example, not all men have to be big and tough all the time but can be soft, can be feminine, and doesn't have to fit the ideal stereotype. Same with women, this part of feminism helped us gain the right to wear pants and work; to show we don't have to be "girly" but can do what any other man can.

Now that that explanation is out of the way, my main point is that doesn't feeling like you don't fit the stereotype and have to change your gender, pushing those roles?

A majority of transwomen I see, transition into the patriarchal standard of a "woman", nails, long hair, makeup, slim bodies and don't do "manly things". They say they felt uncomfortable with their bio gender and had to transition but one thing I don't understand is why? 

It's one thing to like feminine things, wear dresses, grow out your hair, wear makeup but why do we associate it with a need to transition into a woman? Women are so much more than that so why is that a common concept for trans women. 

I am not too educated on trans men, so I used this as an example but how isn't this pushing roles?

idk where you got that impression of trans women from , maybe actually get to know some trans people, cuz you just seem to not really know much abt the trans experience.

You are mixing up gender identity (who someone is) with gender expression (how someone dresses). Moreover, gender ≠ sex, it's different stuff.

Trans Women don't transition because they think they don't fit the stereotype of their assigned sex, that's just wrong, they transition to be their most authentic selves.  If being trans was just about stereotypes, feminine men would transition to be women, but they don't, because liking makeup doesn't change the fact that they are comfortable being men.

Trans women also don't think they HAVE TO wear nails, long hair, makeup, slim bodies and not do "manly things" to be women or identify as one. Everything you said is just for self expression, a choice to look in a way that's comfortable to them. Moreover, trans women come in all sorts of shapes, backgrounds, interests, and tastes in fashion that don't align with white patriarchal standards of what a woman is or should be. Trans women also don't "stop doing manly things", idk where you got that one from. Trans people don't just erase everything abt who they were pre-transition to become this hyper-gendered caricature whenever they transition. They're still the same person, with the same interests, experience and everything, so they'll still do "manly things", whatever that means.

All this to say, just like a cis woman wearing a dress doesn't hurt feminism, a trans woman wearing a dress doesn't either.

p.s. : I'd also advice to re-read my blog because it already addresses some of your concerns and what I think abt them

"By sex I mean I am referring to the gender or sex you're born with I put it since many people say there is a difference however I'm not too fond of it" unscientific point of view 

"my main point is that doesn't feeling like you don't fit the stereotype and have to change your gender, pushing those roles?" its not the stereotype but the gender, people dont transition because it doesn't fit their gender stereotype but instead the stereotype of looking masc or femme is manifested BECAUSE of current society, the person is a symptom of the root cause, the person who is trans isn't doing anything but transitioning inside of a patriarchal society, People's gender schema develop based almost entirely on their environment, gender is cultural, what it means to be a man or woman is different in every country (big or small differences), if society is patriarchal, then peoples gender schema will be based on traditional views of what it means to be a man or a woman.


The trans experience can vary a lot from person to person, and trans people are already more likely to be non-conforming than cis people. But the entire concept of passing proves that gender identity is not entirely an internal phenomena but is also external, you can feel like a woman or man internally but on the outside you have to look like it for a majority of people to accept you, unfortunately as I've already explained, that means you need to have traditional feminine/masculine traits to be seen as the gender you prefer.

Also i think that the whole notion of "if MtF person wears traditionally femme clothing then = perpetuation of gender roles" is an incredibly arbitrary and skewed argument that is mostly used as a justification to hate what you do not understand (trans people). And is exemplified by a majority of these use-cases being in relation to MtF only, never seen brought up against FtM or most importantly cis people

to be honest it still doesn't make much sense to me why trans women can take a title we worked hard to uplift for years this might be me being ignorant but I just cannot understand and I'm not that educated on ftm because many of them don't go on the internet bashing the gender

i propose you get more educated, and get to deeply know some trans people cuz it just seems you get impression abt trans people from social media, where you definitely have some sort of a TERF-leaning algorithm

You saying "why trans women can take a title we worked hard to uplift for years?" is smtg I'm not going to answer in good faith because

a) It presupposes that trans women being themselves automatically devalues cis women’s rights, which is something you're yet to prove. Historically, this same scarcity mindset was used to argue that including women of colour, working-class women, or lesbians would "devalue" or ruin the feminist movement. It didn't then, and it doesn't now. Another group gaining dignity doesn't make yours vanish, womanhood and women's rights isn't some finite pie

b) it presupposes that trans women never contributed to feminism and the fight for the rights of women, which is not only historically inaccurate, but yet again smtg you're yet to prove or demonstrate 

c) It assumes trans women haven't worked hard or suffered to exist, completely erasing the immense violence and discrimination they face

d) It ignores the fact that trans women face misogyny BECAUSE they are women. Transphobia is not random, it's rooted in patriarchy as the moment a trans woman embraces herself and claims womanhood, she is subjected to the same devaluation and policing cis women have fought for centuries. That means your framing of transitioning as just taking a title to escape oppression is wrong, they are actually doing the opposite. Trans women are putting themselves right into the crosshairs of the system that punishes ANYONE living as a woman

As to you seeing more trans women arguing with TERFs online than trans men, this is because

 a) Currently trans women are targeted by transphobes and TERFS way more than trans men so obviously there will be more callouts and push backs from trans women 

b) Trans Men have a low visibility in public discourse which is a whole problem in itself as they are basically getting erased from the public consciousness due to transmysoginy and patriarchy. There is also another thing, which is the fact that testosterone alters physical features (voice, hair etc) in a way that allows them to "pass" more seamlessly in public compared to trans women

c) you're just in an echo chamber at the end of the day, mate. the main reason you see a lot of TERF content and Trans Women arguing and calling TERFs out is because you engage with this content, so it keeps giving you the same stuff which, not only gives you a false perspective and impression abt trans people that clashes with the reality of the situation, but also ideologically isolates you, making you only ever reinforce your beliefs instead of doubting them

Thanks for sharing your perspective! Absolutely agree with you here. The only reason I brought up bio-essentialism in relation to TERFs is because most of my exposure to them comes from Russian- and Ukrainian-speaking spaces. All I hear about from those TERFs is how much trans people are a roadblock when it comes to gender abolition, which in my opinion is so nonsensical...

exactlyyy💀 never regretted leaving that hellhole for good. genuinely life became easier and happier after that

i would like to add that terfs but also any kind of "fake activist" always use black women  (or any poc individuals really) as a shield for "see? im woke enough that i even support black women and insert them in my white bio-essentalist femminism"

i just hate how they romaticize having a uterus and act like thats what make them have "empathy" (which they dont have, they are just bullies, does that make em men with this logic? lmao)