Lately I’ve been realizing I really don’t have much romantic attraction to cis men. Like, I can still be sexually attracted to them, and I don’t mind dealing with men sexually sometimes, but romantically? It’s just not really there for me.
And honestly, I think a lot of it comes down to the type of men I keep running into. So many of them either wanna be “different” but are really just the same dude with a TikTok personality, or they’re so glued to the internet that they don’t even seem to know what they genuinely like anymore. They’ll swear they’re into something because it’s “different” or cool, but when you actually wanna have a conversation about it, they don’t know anything.
I don’t need somebody who likes everything I like. Hell, I actually like when somebody has their own interests that I know nothing about because I wanna learn about them. I just want somebody who’s genuine. Somebody with morals, compassion, curiosity, and an actual personality outside of social media and wanting to look different.
I wanna be able to have deep conversations, start a book club together, go to museums, take baking or crochet classes, go camping, fishing, play sports, make art, try random shit—literally ANYTHING besides just watching movies, cuddling, having sex, and doing whatever relationship trend is popular that week.
I’ve noticed I have way less of an issue with this with women, trans men, and trans women. A lot of them seem more open to genuine connection and actually exploring things together, but even then, sometimes you hit that same wall where they don’t really wanna try anything new or they just fall into doing the same things everybody else does. And once that happens, the relationship starts feeling stagnant in that area. With cis men, though, it feels like I just end up going full circle every time.
Maybe I’ll meet a man who changes my mind someday, but right now I’m realizing I’m way more attracted to genuine connection than the idea of having a boyfriend just because I could have one.
And honestly, I think this is a problem with people in general nowadays. Everybody wants to be “different,” but somehow everybody ends up copying the same version of being different. I just want somebody who actually took the time to figure out who they are instead of becoming whatever the internet told them was cool.
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s.c.o.t.t.i.e
I'm so sorry that you're facing this, it can be really difficult to find someone who is only interested in trends and social media.
People more than ever are glued to trends, groups, and following what is most popular. Due to that interest and popularity contest with themselves it becomes difficult to find people who are genuinely more comfortable with being themselves.
One thing to really consider, is that social media feeds are fit to the person. Everything they see, every piece of content they consume, and every second they spend on the platform is fed to them in their own echo chamber. It is VERY difficult to find a person who isn't in their own echo chamber unless they are completely off social media. So even though it is the latest trend, it's the latest trend in their circle and what their feed has deemed matches what their personality would like.
If it gives you any hope, as people age, get new life experiences, and get out of that clique mindset; they begin to become more interested in themselves. They become more interested in their interest, their hobbies, their own desire for adventure, and less are attached to what's popular on social media. As people age, they start to think more independently and think less on what is popular on social media, unless they are a influencer (or wannabe influencer).
Just to use myself as an example, when I was 22 and younger I was really attached to what was trending in my clique. I was obsessed with being up to date with the latest trends, styles, decor, etc. About when I hit 23/24 (I'm currently 24) I stopped caring about what was trending and instead started focusing on my own interest. I changed because I had a lot of life experiences, I went through college, I essentially grew up and stopped caring. This doesn't happen for every person, and everyone is different. But, for a majority of people that I know, this happened to them as well.
I really hope you find your person, and I am sending you all my positive vibes!
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I really hope you find the right one someday, lately finding anyone who isn't a bitch or someone who doesn't let social media get into their head is pretty hard...
Me too, I hope everyone find what or who they're looking for.
by ★𝓚𝓾𝓻𝓸𝓶𝓲★; ; Report