It sounds like an almost rhetorical question, but it's what I've been asking myself these past few days. My whole family follows African-rooted religions, my older siblings and my mum included. I'm considered too young to be baptised, but that's never stopped them from laying out the ideology and nudging me to take part from the outside. It's all a bit odd, because my mum says I'm not obliged to tie myself to their religion, but she complains and makes me feel guilty when I pull away, especially if it's an annual practice considered important. Don't take this the wrong way (I've got a lot of respect for their faith) but I feel awkward around the other people who go to the terreiros with them, plus boredom and even numbness
In a few hours there's one of those annual events, and I don't fancy going, but I don't want to let my family down. Any advice? It's fine if it's brief, especially since I'm only going on about this because I've got no one here at home to ask for advice
Comments
Displaying 5 of 5 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
Apav
(edited)
Report
Of course you don't have to, but if your family cares about you they're going to want you to believe in truth, and because they believe their religion is true, they are always going to try and nudge you in that direction. So even if you don't "have to" that doesn't mean they won't still have emotions and opinions on the topic. You're most likely going to need to do your own searching. Try not to let your experiences with this religion completely deter you from religion in general.
As for what you should do about the events, that is a hard situation. I guess it depends on the events and what they require of you. If it's just that they're boring I would probably go to the ones that mean the most to your mom.
sup I ended up taking part in that whole thing yesterday. Compared to the other events I go to every year the headache hit harder than usual, so I had to step out for a bit. Me and my mum had a bit of an argument about my absence cause she knows I'm spiritual, so that tends to translate into feeling unwell most of the time in places with energies and all that. We managed to reach a friendly enough agreement I think and thankfully she apologised for the rude stuff she said yesterday. Cheers for the comment c: it's good to be validated every so often
by Cadetzou74; ; Report
Brycey
I'm a Christian so... i might be a bit biased... but meh everyone is biased. Just tell me if my bias is bad.
The best quesstionnn isn't really if it's okay not to follow your family's religion, and the betterrr question is to ask if it's okay to follow a (specific) religion or not. And there's a difference between going to religious events and following that religion. If you don't really completely believe a thing yet, wether or not you go to an event is practical, and if it feels so weird that you can't experience the event comfortably, then... that's also a practical matter. Annndddd, about your mother, if she's excluding you from the family or telling you how she feels about you not doing the um stuff in an unloving way, then that's bad.
You dooo technically need to think about your question but i just want to say... "which religion is "true"?" is a "more" important question... I think i said that right...
Whimsysharkbones
(edited)
Report
Immediately yes. As someone who was raised by Romany catholics and Scottish [non religious] families, i turned out pagan, my dad refused to get me baptised as he believed I had the right to choose myself when I was older, I grew up being completely atheist till my late teens, that choice is yours and no ones to take from you but if you want to support your family's decisions you can still do so by placing firm boundaries on your behalf in regards to pushing a belief system, explain you want to work it out and choose yourself what you do or don't want to believe in rather than being pushed to fit a preprepared mould, nothing wrong with attending events especially to support those you care about but dont feel forced to participate if it doesn't feel right to you
I did what you suggested and it went almost perfectly, Whim. I attended the event out of politeness but I'll keep what you said in mind considering the mix of faiths and ideologies in your upbringing
by Cadetzou74; ; Report