In two states

 So.

 I was writing a couple of poems, things about my last week. 
 The odd sense of watching how the birds squirm around the air like flies in the morning. 
 The hole in the ceiling who keeps peeping at you whenever you try to sleep.
 The formal but informal way in which most places turn hostile towards you.

  But in the middle of writing about all these very real and mundane events. I got the notice that my grandmother isn't leaving the hospital. 

 Something about it felt known, as me and my father would say when we bought her ticket to come with us back to Spain in march; Something we always joke about, "I don't give her 6 months" he said to which I responded mockingly, "6?! Give her 3 and be happy" and well...
 To much of our disgrace, it is going to happen soon in July, we aren't going to cry because our family doesn't custom to do so. But she knows we are not crying her passing and left it clear to us, we can go eat shit and die. 
 Too much of a warrior that woman is, still after all will be still the same grumpy old woman she ever was. I don't say this with any bit of malice, we all know she is mean spirited and hates to lose and to be called a cheater. She hates if we eat fast, if we eat slow, if we have big chunks in one go or if we cut it in thin small pieces, if we gulp or if we take a sip, and that's only on the dinner... 

 I don't know how else to express this emotion out but writing it, I hope I could've gotten better with her. She hates that I discuss and argue with her. 
 More than that, she hates that I remind her of one of our cousins who would always presume and pretend to be a big academic and knower of all. 
 But she hates more than that, that in difference with my cousin, I back up my claims and show her exactly the books from my library or the quotes from my phone, which she disregards as altered before reading it word from word. 
 I'd like to think she doesn't hate me for my own merits, but hates me because she gets reminded of our awful cousin. 

 I don't know if that's the case. Or would never know. I guess this is a bye for now to her. And with her the last of my grandparents.

 In august my twin will have a baby, so I guess it'll be the end of a generation for the start of another...