having a crush on a straight, religious girl ...

ok so i've liked this girl since like january and it's been 129 days not that anyone's counting,,,obviously.. (¬_¬") the reason i can't get over her is cause i keep being delusional and thinking that the strictly platonic things she does might mean smt and it's fucking my brain up sooooooo badddddd 💔💔 i just NEED to get this out but at the same time i feel so stupid writing this for random people online to see.... she's just so cute and nice so i can't help liking her. at the start of the year there was this sience project where u were supposed to partner up with your friends and ... i didn't have any friends. and so she asked me if i wanted to be with her cause she could tell even tho she has her own friends and it's just stuff like that which makes it so i can't help but liking her. EVERYYYYTIME i post myself on my tiktok story she always comments on how good i look and she probably doesn't even bat an eye at it but it makes me soo insane. everytime there's a school trip and we're  walking to the destination she always says hi to me (altough we're not even close) and asks me how i am in like a weird (?) way like it's not how you'd talk to your friends so i can't help but read into it. on culture day she told me i looked good while i was with my friends and only me. SHE HAS ME TRAPPED. i am sweating as im writing this. i can't get out of the straight girl trap. yearning is portrayed as something so beautiful in movies and such but i actually just want to kill myself. i've never known worse torture. we went to the beach last week and my eyes were glued onto her. WHY DID SHE THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO WEAR A WHITE TSHIRT???????????? this is just a humiliation ritual holy fuck how do i get over her. i desperately need to know.