Hayley williams music genuinely saving my ahh rn 😭😭 / Ramble #10

HAYLEY WILLIAMS I PRAISE YOU LIKE MY LAWDDD above holy guacamole. How does she release the most earth shatteringly depressing and real album as soon as i’m going through a crazy turbulent betrayer time in my life. Also paramore’s whole discog as well.

nothing has ever matched my life perfectly. It’s actually cathartic in a way.. it’s helped me cope a lot through all this bs i got going on 😭. WARNING just going to be me trauma dumping and yapping NERD shit about her music.

Especially Ego Death at a Bachelorette party. that album UGH she wrote that album for me. (JOKING. don’t get me for that.) it’s just so much my situation that it’s bizzare… also AFTER LAUGHTER. goodness gravy. I hate you chad guilbert but yes hayley bless us with your songs about that evil evil EVIL man. 

Idk something about EDAABP just captured what was going on with my life at that point. I was crazy betrayed by my evil ex-bestfriend and i couldn’t bring myself to hate him and it hurt to say AND leave and i just wanted him back but i didn’t at the same time but he was there and like.. it was a LOT okay. i’m a messy girl. Mostly the song parachute, brotherly hate, love me different, and DISCOVERY CHANNEL. Those songs carried me. It helped me express how PISSED and also so so depressed i was without crashing out and making my own situation than i already was.. It felt like i had some gnarly breakup except it was worse and even my bestfriend wasn’t on my side. Of course the other songs meant a lot to me, but goodness gravy sauce. Discovery channel GUTS me every single time. the most gut wrenching song i’ve ever heard in my life. It really was just how i felt that whole time, when i couldnt bring myself to leave my EVIL bestfriend but it hurt so bad to stay but it felt like i needed to stay and force myself to stay because my bestfriend still liked me and wanted me (apparently though.. he infact just hated me and was lying to my face.) Idk i want to do a blog breaking down this album in general, both personally and lyrically cuz i have a lot of nerdy stuff and personal connection to this album.

But now that i’ve left that whole situation, I think After Laughter has really helped me just be there in my situation. After leaving my abuser (it feels so weird to call him that.. excuse me if that’s weird..), It just like it’s LITERALLY how i feel. I feel like that album. Pool, caught in the middle, grudges, and forgiveness especially. but literally. Hayley williams the words you write. genuinely. I find a lot of comfort in her story, even though her’s isn’t exactly like mine, it just comforting to know someone else was done dirty and we feel the same way yk? or atleast she can sing how i feel better than i can feel it.. POOL. POOL POOL POOL. that song. 😭😭 goodness gravy THAT song. that is how. it. felt. how my last half decade felt. goodness gravy.

ALSO special mention for Dead horse by Hayley williams. When i left i HOPE that evil piece of SHIT cried.. and was very saddened by my disappearance. (that’s a lyric from that song, non hayley listeners..) 

okay this won’t be the end of my blogs about hayley. beware. REMEMBER MY NAME. jk.. i’m a dweeb i’m so sorry guys.