How do I get a girlfriend (80's new wave edition?)

Computer, quickest route, no freeways. 

Maybe I'm a bit too oddly specific in what I want? Like I don't want a clone of myself but I want someone who has the same interests as me like music, media, etc. Let me give you a rundown about my situation.

 I used to go by Jason for 5 years but I hated it since day 1, but it spread like wildfire. I recently changed it to Laurence (Laurie for short).

My love life also kinda sucks cause I'm FTM... pre-testosterone. I'm workin it alright my parents aren't supportive 🥀 When I move out, then I'll get something like that late '70s Robert Smith haircut trust. TRUST.

I just started college with this fall semester being my first. I just turned 18 last month too fyi. You can of course view my interests in detail on my page, but here's a rundown on things about me. I love the arts, I rant about passion and the details people put into their work and literature. I consider my style of fashion to be very aligned with 80s trad goth and New Wave. I love the 80s, but I also love the Victorian Era with all my heart. I love how 80s trad kinda adds in some Victorian flair so I often combine the two. My favorite musicians consist of Depeche Mode, Duran Duran, Billy Joel, Siouxsie and the Banshees, and Caifanes. I'm born and raised here in the U.S. but I'm half Mexican, half Spanish. I grew up entirely in the Mexican culture (which I love dearly) and I speak fluent Spanish as I do English (obviously). 

Favorite movies ever are Dead Poets Society, The Lost Boys, Phantom of the Opera (2004), Amadeus, and Rocky Horror Picture Show. I also love love love love love love love reading. Specifcally older books. My favorite books are The Picture of Dorian Gray and White Nights. I have yet to read more books. My favorite color is mahogany or orange. My hobbies consist of drawing, painting, and writing.

And yes! I am also a writer!! I am working on two novels right now that I aspire to turn into screenplays and adapt into films, which is my goal. I will most likely graduate in 2030 with a major in studio arts and a minor in film. My dream is to adapt my books into films, act in some, and win Oscars (gotta lock in first </3). In the meantime, I'm gonna get my teaching credentials and maybe teach art in Scotland (because California sucks). Also don't mind that I'm catholic, not to worry! I'm not homophobic or associated with certain negative beliefs. I believe everyone has a right to be who they are period and a right to their own bodies.

Note that I will not date a witch or satanist, sorry... It's nothing personal because I'll be friends with one but not like long term romance, I'm just not into that stuff and maybe it's because I'm Mexican but I'm a superstitious weenie. 

Also important when it comes to pets, I'm not a cat person. Super sorry. They are very cute and all but its gonna have to be a no, unfortunately. Dogs are a better option, but I honestly overall prefer rabbits. They're the best option for me. 

I really wish I could love a girl who matches my whimsy and will randomly text me and be like Hello good sir!! And ima be like "Hello fairest maiden!" I also dream about moving to Scotland to get married in a beautiful cathedral, and we'll live in our little Victorian castle or cottage or french chateau with stained glass windows and the most beautiful garden where we'll take walks every morning :')

 Important but I also really want kids... Like I know it's a lot to ask and not many people I've met want kids. My last relationship actually failed because she didn't want kids, so if you don't, then sorry but this is something I have dreamt about since I was little and I'm not changing my mind. it can be any form depending on our situation, but I want to have a baby someday. 

Also I gotta mention clinginess. I can't do super clingy. Unfortunatley I'm a very busy fella. I'm working on two novels plus college. I also just really like my space to breathe and have some quiet time to myself. Texting is nice, but it would be nice, preferably, to call or facetime often instead. For example, my older sister and I would talk over the phone late at night almost every day except when one has to go to bed early or is busy, and with my best friend, we send reels to each other every day at any time. To me, that's a really nice way of keeping your peace while also being in love and getting to know the other person more genuinely. Face to face is different and I want to see my partner in person as much as I can. OH, and when it comes to phone calls, please let me talk... I'm a very shy person but I promise I talk more when I warm up. I also really just want someone who I can rant about my books to a lot.  

I don't know. Like I want a girl who will dress all cozy and cute with me to go see the snow in Scotland but also we will have days where we do each other's 80s hair and full-face New Wave makeup. And other days we'll be fancier and go to the opera in London or Paris (yes I love opera and classical music a LOT :>). I want our love to be love and not for sex or my body. Love me for me. I want to love you for you. I don't understand why love nowadays is all for one's body. Will I be freaky one day? When I'm married probably, because we're more committed and in love. I've never done it and I'm not into it like that either. It feels so weird typing all of this but I have to express how I feel in case there IS someone out there, you know? 

Some pluses!! I have no crazy exes nor am I still in love with any of them (I hate them all and we are zero contact). I'm super affectionate and caring, and I'm a major empath so I feel things very deeply. I'm not obsessive or psycho in any way either so I'm not gonna go insane over any minor inconvenience. I am a super calm person and even in emergencies I'm able to remain calm when needed. Trust is another major thing for me too. I will trust you if you trust me. And communication. THIS ONE IS HUGE!! I HAVE BEEN LIED TO A LOT ABOUT COMMUNICATION!!! DON'T BE LIKE THAT!!! If you have a problem with me, I want it to be addressed right away and I want to see what I can do to better my actions next time. It's super important to me that resentment isn't held to my throat. I won't do that to anyone myself, I will be calm and express something maturely and as nice as possible (maybe too nice because I worry about hurting people's feelings a lot).

I think love in general, like... nowadays it's like the second you have a problem, its either a red flag or the second someone makes a tiny mistake, it's the end of things. I want someone to learn from my mistakes with and that she can do the same with me. I want to grow as a person and work things out (maturely without fighting or yelling). When I fall in love, I want to be with that person till death parts us. I want that kind of love. I want to marry the love of my life and have a family and grow old beside someone, raising and watching our kids grow up. 

Most importantly, I before even thinking about love, you HAVE to love yourself first and not be dealing with exes because I'm tired of the "clingly ex" or "missing my ex" bullshit. No exceptions. My last relationship was bad because of insecurity on the other end as well as her ex, and it was exhausting. As a trans person, naturally I get dysphoric some days and my parents cause a lot of pressure, but I'm not gonna put all of that on the other person. I never have with any of my exes or with any of my friends. I'm probably cutting myself off from my family when I move out so that's not gonna be a longterm issue. I have also had strict parents so at my ripe age I'm barely just now watching all these popular shows and movies and culturing myself... suggestions are appreciated. Overall though, I'm a very confident and happy, hopeful for a better future person. I've gone through enough already, I don't want constant negativity. To the other person, yes you are allowed to be sad and angry; I'm not saying that, but don't make it your entire personality like my last ex did please.

Another huge thing for me is me being trans. I was downgraded in just about every single relationship I've been in for not having a masculine FACE or BODY. Eh... I'm not a cis man...? I mentioned this. I'll work on it the second I get on testosterone, okay? I just want someone who understands my situation and doesn't use it against me and sees me as a real guy. Also just know I have nothing against who I was as a cis girl, that life simply wasn't meant for me and I have nothing against women and I'll be a huge advocate for women till the day I die. 

Random but it would be amazing honestly if my partner and I went to the same uni in 2 years. I'm probably going to Cal Poly Humboldt or something in the middle of Cali, but that's just a little dream of mine. If it happens? great. If not? also great, as long as we love each other and can meet eventually. 

I don't know. I think I just really want to take a walk, pick some flowers, come home, give them to my pretty wife, and then we play music and cook dinner together or bake... Maybe she'll be a professional writing editor or also a writer herself and we can edit each other's work cause I myself love editing (but I'm not too good at catching my own writing mistakes lol). I think I'm just sounding delusional at this point </3

So, when all is said and done, this might be something that goes unread and purged straight into oblivion, or maybe I get lucky and the right person comes across and sees this. Who knows. What I do know is that I yearn a lot and this is kind of one of those things I yearn for and it hurts a lot. I want real love, and I know there is someone out there for me, but I'm willing to be patient and wait for them to come along. Also if you might be interested but don't want to wait possibly more than a year, please don't waste my time. I'm willing to try online dating again but only if the other is committed too. I've had relationships get nuked because of the distance so if it doesn't happen, so be it, and maybe later in the future I'll find someone. For now, I'm gonna keep on yearning and hope for the best. 

If you are interested or someone you might know is interested... depends yk like I wanna get to know you as a person first. I'm from California (United States) by the way in case anyone is wondering.