how I’m losing weight (NOTTT HEALTHY)

Okay so back in the early months of this year I was middling in the development in an eating disorder. While I still do have disordered thoughts now, and had disordered thoughts ever since 2024, I don’t think I ever fully developed one. But back in the first months of this year I was knee deep in trying to eat less and it.. shrunk my stomach. Badly. 

I either ate 800-1500 calories a day back then and i’ve been eating around 1500-2000 until around a week ago. The average/healthy calorie intake is 2.5-2.8k but I think that’s way too much since I don’t eat bigger meals and mainly rely on snacks to sustain myself. 2.5k is only something I could ever manage if I actually ate bigger meals. But since I was eating a smaller amount of calories for a few months, it’s been slowly shrinking my stomach even after I got out of that phase of being strict with myself. 

This week I’ve only been able to stomach 1000 calories with 1500 being my maximum. I get sick if I eat anything too sweet, drink anything too warm, or if I eat anything too calorie-dense and thick like cookies, chocolates and protein bars. I mainly rely on really thin and/or hydrated foods like cucumber, crisps, pepperoni, and bigger things like bread, chips and pizza if I feel like I can stomach it. I ate 3 little chocolates earlier and almost died from the nausea.

I don’t think this is healthy. Like.. at all, since I’m anaemic too, and food intake is really important for me to help with that + to help the muscles that are pinching my leg nerve to grow. And I have digestivev problems, and I can barely finish a box of chips… but I also kind of like it because I feel thin and lovely and special, and hopefully I’ll lose the fat in my thighs and face. I’m thin already (bmi 16 last time I checked) so if I get thinner I might kinda have to go to the hospital but whatever. I kind of want to go. Anyways I’m going to go and feast on the entire fridge.