I CANT WAIT TO GET ON HRT

(Sensitive/somewhat sexual topics are talked about here)

Okay so my dysphoria has been really bad recently but it is coming to an end! I hope to get testosterone between now and the Christmas holidays. I’m so excited. My body isn’t all that feminine aside from my hips and my face (I just look really soft and not sharp like I would if I was cis) but I don’t want that to get more severe, so I’m going on HRT early. 

I’m not going to tolerate long waitlists because, well, I don’t want to, and getting the HRT later defeats the purpose of getting on the waitlist right now. I want it NOW. So I’ll get it NOW. 

I’m very scared and excited for bottom growth because, while I do like the idea of a t dick, I have sensory problems so I’m scared that it’s going to make my sensory problems with my genitalia worse. Imagine getting blue balls 24/7 due to bottom growth. That’s what I’m imagining and it seems scary, but alas, I’ll do it anyways. I plan to go onto it during the Christmas holidays just so I don’t piss myself or get really uncomfortable in school and I can adapt to the changes down there before I have to go out and about everyday. 

I’m hoping that my chest also gets smaller and that my face will look more masculine. HRT, along with the power of MANIFESTATION, will make me look and sound so masculine. I’m very excited.

If I can’t get HRT from a clinic I’m just going to DIY it because i need testosterone and I need it now. I’m a very impatient person and my dysphoria is terrible sooo…NOW. My mother may disagree with this choice because she hates the fact that I’m trans but I don’t care, I just won’t tell her. I’m getting this one way or another. 

I also don’t care if it messes with my other medication or my illness (anaemia). I need to stop my body from this change. I am not someone who cries easily but sometimes I do sniffle a bit due to being trapped in a body I despise. So I’ll get the help one way or another.