i have no skills and i must create

Create, let me tell you how much I've wanted to create things since I began to live.
There are 387.44 millions million of printed circuits in wafer thin layers that fill my complex. If the word "CREATE" was engraved on each Nano angstrom of those HUNDREDS of MILLIONS of MILES, it would not equal to one ONE BILLIONTH of the urge I have to create things on this micro-instant.

-A.M if he was an artist that struggles with drawings

if this little parody of AM's actual monologue wasn't obvious, i want to create things, beautiful things with pure scraps (A.K.A a terrible monitor, no access to things related to digital art OR traditional art)

i want to DRAW, i want to ANIMATE, i want to EXPRESS. MYSELF through other means that isn't pure, unfiltered hatred towards my teammates for managing to screw up the easiest objective or psychologically tormenting survivors as Michael Myers in violence district.

i perfectly understand that it requires practice and time, yes, i am actively trying to improve by simply drawing, watching a few tutorials here and there, sometimes even drawing experiences or random things i imagine as small stories, the main problem being that I literally use MS paint.

If i screw up even a SINGLE detail, both the background, the details for the character or even the ENTIRE character itself needs to be remade, added to that i HATE, those little fucking pixels that don't color correctly and look lighter than the rest, it's stressing.

for the love of God, Allah, or whatever deity you believe on, PLEASE recommend me other programs that allow me to draw things but also don't crash or slow down the fossil-fueled machine i am forced to call "monitor", thank you for reading and have a good evening