i have the fattest ugliest bruise on my thigh

One or two weeks ago I was at my grandmothers house. I was getting up to leave, and as I was moving to do whatever, I fell at an exact 25 degree angle and hit my thigh so badly on the bedframe that I stayed down, pretty much on all fours, for multiple seconds before I pulled myself back up with my stuttering, stiff back and legs. It hurt like a motherfucker and my grandfather-jointed self already has problems walking up and down stairs, or even just raising my left leg to step over something sometimes. I hit my left leg on the bed so it hurt even more. 

At first, it was just purple with all of my little pore follicle things all red. Now — however many days later it is — that shit looks disgusting. It is a 2-inch bruise a few inches below my ass (sorry that I’m using inches I’ve forgotten centimetres) and it looks like I’m going through necrosis. 

It has a yellow border, and at the top it gets grater. At the bottom-middle there’s a dull, disgusting purple-red in the shape of a diamond, or the eye of fucking sauron. Under that is half of the line of a diamond that’s bigger than the original one just below it. It looks like it’s cosplaying a deep cut you’d see on shtwt. I looks like I was Jesus in Hell’s Kitchen and got my ass whacked at full force by the devil Gordon Ramsay. 

I’m making a blog about this because I almost never get bruises. Ever. At most I get a little yellow or purple circle that never turns into anything, and I fully believe that I have this on me because I kept thinking about those people who manifest bruises on themselves.  

I hope it stays for a little bit, it’s really nice to see that I can actually get harmed. I never get big bruises, I never faint anymore, I’ve never broken a bone other than a tooth. I’m a little angel when it comes to wounds apparently, so it’s nice to get one that looks grosser.