I like being called names. sometimes

I’ve been getting berated by my dad a lot more lately because I’ve been at his house and I’ve realised that some insults are kinda cathartic for me to hear. I don’t really know why but being called an idiot specifically isn’t as bad as you’d think it is. It hurts when it’s from my dad but it feels kind of validating when it’s not straight verbal abuse. Like… yeah, I am an idiot. I’m an idiotic person for so many reasons. Call me an idiot. Because I am one. I’m completely and utterly braindead most of the time, I’m extremely unpractical in my day to day life and I struggle with a lot of things. I am an idiot. I also generally like the sound of the word, you kinda have to learn to like it after being called it hundreds of times. I have also always liked being demeaned because it feels more genuine than constant compliments, and it makes me gender euphoric for some reason? No idea why I think it’s the weird comic dubs from when I was 7, however that’s relevant.

(also not relevant but holy shit being belittled 24/7 is so annoying I am SO sorry to the people who I used to insult. my dad is doing it again as I just said and it’s so irritating fuuuuck I can’t believe i’ve been like this to others I’m so embarrassed. it’s almost like I’m…an idiot.)