I might be polyamorous

okay so this is going to sound absolutely insane for an aroace narcissist to say but I might genuinely just be poly 

I want to date a man like Martin Blackwood from TMA AND Jayce Talis/Giopara from Arcane/LoL. I keep having to decide between both. But I kind of just want two men who are each of the characters I like… why should I only have one man when I can have two? Why only have two men when I can have three? And I can just love them them all equally but they’ll all mainly be focused on me because I’m beautiful and clearly the best in the relationship 

I think the only thing I wouldn’t be able to handle would be them loving eachother too but goddd I just want multiple men I want a gay ass harem.. I don’t just want one I want a collection like I’m playing with my LPS collection. Genuinely. Universe give me 1049593595 men right now