i saw a severely anorexic woman at winco today (tw ed) and #recoveryspo (blog form)

I myself have had a history of disordered eating and purging for about 4 years now (no labels as the one that would align closest is EDNOS and a very small case of arfid) . At the store today I saw a very very thin woman. She was wearing a sundress so it was very noticeable how thin she was. Her face was sunken and she looked very sad

disclaimer!!!! people of any weight or any size ARE allowed to wear whatever they desire. This is just my experience with ed and recovery and this situation

I immediately got triggered by this as I was always so susceptible to "thinspo" 

For the past few months I've been in quasi recovery, still tracking my food but not restricting as much as I used to. I've recently begun semi recovery (hopefully after this is full recovery!! 🤞) and after a few moments of immediately thinking about how im going to restrict and starve myself I kinda like snapped out of it?? like I realized that no just because im not as thin as this woman doesnt mean my struggles or less than nor does it make it that im disgusting or unclean. It just means that this woman is struggling

I do believe starting testosterone helped me a lot with these thoughts as well, since most of my ed is influenced with being a girl (along with the other things mentioned above). I do belive that this IS life saving medication. With bulimia anytime a purge before or after I can die or have really serious complications. With testosterone and before, starting testosterone very soon, it helped me a lot battle off the relapsing thoughts. I feel like If I wasnt on T or gonna start it soon I would've definitely fallen into a relapse. but now, about an hour later, I am all fine and fueling my body with food!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳plus if im not eating... no changes!

haha maybe im rambling but I wanted to get this off my chest. I really hope that woman will be okay, she looked really sad and I wish I could help her. She was with someone who i believe was her boyfriend to I jope he is doing the best he can to help her

eds are EVIL and everyone with one should be compensated 10,000 dollars a year for medical expenses NOW!!!

maybe more caleb recovery content soon. I dont really like making talking about my ed / past ed a thing tho because it can be triggering for myself and others even if its positive

after starting even quasi recovery I've been so much happier with such a great group of people now that im not isolating myself and a whole frucking jazz combo!!! more to come on that soon we have a gig!!! 😈 recovery is so worth it