i shouldnt be allowed to play red dead redemption 2

ive lost at least $500 in game dollars from dying over the past 2 couple-hour-long play sessions. im seriously so so bad at it. i love going to saint denis its really fun to explore, plus it has like everything without having to go places where i have huge bounties over me (that i should probably pay off...). and today i LOST MY HORSE !!! HE DIED!!! it was the one Hosea gives you in valentine which i am pretty sure u CANT get back!! and im soo sad my other 2 horses SUCK!!!! the way he (and i...) got killed was i was getting ROBBED in saint denis, so i started shooting the guys (bad idea...) and i had to flee the town and all was well but i like looped around back into town cuz there were lawmen fucking EVERYWHERE!!! so i was like hmmm if im careful i can escape on the train tracks...

IDIOT

i didnt move in time and we got HIT BY THE TRAIN and he DIED IN THE WATER AND I GOT SHOT TO DEATH BECAUSE I WAS JUST IN SO MUCH SHOCK. NEVER EVER PLAYING AGAIN /J

the other day i was riding at night to go home and i was in the swampy area at lagras cuz i had gotten into (accidental) trouble in saint denis and wanted to just explore i guess lol. my horse kept getting shocked.. and i was like ok weird... so i rode a bit slower (SUPER BAD IDEA)... and i could see people wandering the forest......... and then my poor little shire kicks me off.... and i get stabbed to death by masked psychos!!!!

ugh. i might try to buy a better horse or figure out how to tame one... or just suck it up. is it a good idea to pay off my bounties from valentine and strawberry? im like. scared to exist lol. 

feel free to give me any other advice im still a newbie hehei just find it funny how often i DIE or fuck up somehow and how often its in saint denis. seriously a cursed town.