I wish I put as much effort into making my own music as I do fantasizing about being the person who made said music

For as long as I can remember I've always wanted to be a musician, I thought it was so cool growing up that instead of doing something like working at an office or making french fries at mcdonalds for work you could just learn an instrument and express yourself with music. And as I grow older that want to be a musician is still there, I just don't have the passion for it that I would have 2 years ago. I spend all of this time listening to other peoples music and learning it so I can play it on my guitar and pretend I'm playing a sold out show to hundreds of thousands of people yet I can't ever find the want to write my own songs and be my own musician. Everytime I grab my guitar and a piece of paper so I can jot down lyrics I just end up bummed out, I either write something and fall in love with it for 2 weeks then hate it and wonder why I ever wrote it or I just write some small line down and head to bed. I wish I knew how to fix it but every method people have suggested still just leaves me back at square one. And it sucks. It really fucking sucks.