im so FUCKING aroace

every day i realise how little i actually know about sexual and romantic attraction. i thought that i was pretty normal until i saw people having crushes constantly, dating people all the time, and actually 'loving' people

to be fair i also generally cant feel love as an emotion (for other people at least, i love my daughter and cat Trixie) due to what i believe is neurodivergence but due to that i am also aroace. i guess i am talking about something a little bit more than just happening to be queer but whatever. 

ive never had a date, ive never had a real crush, ive been in two situationships / QUEERplatonic friendships / maybe relationships / but i never actually felt attraction. im practically incapable of it. ive never been turned on by things like pornography or shirtless men on pinterest or whatever. i dont actually think ive ever been attracted to someone other than very slightly wanting to be their friend. 

dont get me wrong i am very gay but for the most part i only imagine being in these relationships and enjoy gay ships because... i dont know, i like it i guess? i dont care about the romance i just like seeing representation. i like angst too.

im so aroace