I'm tired of being gay and lonely

I don't even know what to put here I'm just really sick of being alone all the time like as much as I try to think and convince myself it's the best thing for me it's also really fucking draining at the same time. I don't even wanna be insanely popular or popular in general I just want one good friend and then I'll figure out finding a boyfriend when the time comes

I know the situation I'm in is basically self caused but oh well

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