ok so yesterday @ the drugstore and they didn't have my medz. so what did i do? buy some jellybeans!! i got the jelly belly 20 flavor pack and will be ranking those; once i get my tendrils on a proper 50-flavor pack i can rank everything missing here (and that still ain't accountin' for flavors like birthday cake which are part of "specialty" packs but let's get into the 20 i ate yesterday. these will be presented in alphabetical order and ranked out of 10!! (this is my opinion btw!!)
1. berry blue -- this one's real nice, it's got the color and taste of a nondescript "blue-flavored" slushie or ice pop and that's all it needs to be! summer memories...8/10
2. blueberry -- if berry blue is a skater boy, blueberry is his more dignified cousin in the air force. a richer and less tart flavor that ain't my fav, but i'm never disappointed to see it in my handful. 6/10
3. buttered popcorn -- apparently this one's real controversial...i fail to see how! it's like if you covered AMC popcorn in marshmallow fluff but thankfully without the gross texture...homemade rice krispie treats come to mind as well :P 7/10
4. cotton candy -- it's funny how you can make a super-yummy flavor out of a candy that is just spun sugar. it'd bring back fun memories of the carnival, if not for the dishonest carnies, sweltering heat, and the wasps that come with it. shoo! bad bug! 7.5/10
5. grape soda -- i...have no memory of this being a standard flavor. then again, jelly belly has made changes to their lineup before (jalapeno was a flavor once!!)...and i like this one! like grape crush, a soda that is criminally underrated! reminds me of that one candy "bottle caps..." but it gets points off for not being tart enough. 6/10
6. juicy pear -- not sure what makes this pear "juicy" per se...but i don't care! >v< this one's FANTASTIC, and pear is a fruit that has far less representation in candy than it deserves! 9/10
7. lemon -- can't go wrong. sour, but welcoming all the same, like a nice grandpa. also tastes like a candy a grandpa would have in the jar :3 8/10
8. orange sherbet -- can't say i'm crazy about it. there are better citrusy flavors and lime sherbet is superior imo. 5/10
9. pink grapefruit -- i swear these had a different name. is this candy company gaslighting little ol' me?? whatever. despite the mind games, this bean is absolutely wonderful, bringing back memories of those colorful jelly fruit slices you'd see in an old-fashioned candy shop (or "shoppe," as often is written)! acidic, sweet, PINK!! i could eat a whole BOWL of these! 10/10
10. sizzling cinnamon -- ahh, cinnamon. the marmite of jellybeans. ya love it or ya hate it. and sorry to the other faction, but i myself LOVE it. it's a nice switch-up from the usual purely sweet flavors by adding a little spice! and i did say in my previous candy list that i liked atomic fireballs, so is that really a shock? perhaps, especially to those that were expecting a cherry bean. ♫ pyro-pyromania, ma, ma, ma-mania! ♫ 9/10
11. strawberry jam -- am i the only one who thinks it's odd that there's a flavor dedicated to the jam of this fruit, but not the fruit itself? karol be overthinkin' this mornin'. but one thing i can comfortably say is that i love jam and imo it's WAYYYY better than just jelly. in texture and in that rich, deep, loving flavor that's like a bear hug from your aunt. 8/10
12. sweet peach -- i like peaches! i like most peach-flavored things! (gummi peach rings, peach cobbler, peachy keen monster)...but somehow this ain't it. maybe it's not sour enough but this is kinda lacking. 4.5/10
13. tangerine -- and THIS HERE is the better version of orange sherbet. maybe i just have a childhood filled with those easy-peel mandarins, tho. i used to eat like six of 'em in one sitting then promptly wonder where the oncoming indigestion came from...i was voracious for citrus!! 9.5/10
14. toasted marshmallow -- FRICK YEAHHHHHH!!! i remember sitting out on the porch with my dad and roasting marshmallows 'till they were black n crunchy! and the slight crisp of the outer shell of the jellybean provides that same texture, on GAWD. 10/10
15. top banana -- i'm no minion. i eat these just to get them out of the way. 3/10
16. tutti fruitti -- am i tripping? all i taste is bubblegum. and that's already a flavor! bubblegum/10
17. very cherry -- this is one of the most popular bean flavors, last time i checked. and i see why!! it's sweet with the slightest edge of sour, and i think that a crowd pleaser is fine in my book. :> 7/10
18. vanilla bean -- this one WAS CALLED FRENCH VANILLA ISTG WHAT IS THIS COMPANY DOING TO MY BRAINNNNN (aside from its expected effects on my blood sugar and tummy)...ok now that we got that out of my system, i really love this bean! it's like scraping the last bit of melted ice cream out of the bowl...mmm...you can taste the lil' black speckles :] 9/10
19. watermelon -- perhaps the best part of this flavor is the way it looks. the dark green outside hides a deep red interior! though idk who else sometimes eviscerates candy before eating it...sometimes i bite off half of two beans and stick 'em together. frankenbeans aside, this one's also reminiscent of summer. bust out the melon baller!! 7.5/10
20. wild blackberry -- the final bean, blackberry is one i don't hear too many people talk about, mainly just 'cuz under normal lighting, it looks almost exactly like the licorice one (and we'll get to that soon, among other beans). this is a pleasant surprise! tastes sweet, but understated, and not in-your-face like berry blue or even blueberry! this berry bean is blueberry's gay cousin that lives in sweden and backpacks across the woodlands. subtlety is its strength. -v- 10/10
welp, there ya go, earthlings! an autistic alien ranking 20 leguminous confectionaries for your enjoyment (i hope)! lemme know what your opinions are in the comments! baiiiii!! ^^
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