Welcome Back!
Today, I'll be introducing a new segment to this series: Comment Replies! Replying to comments...
Here we have Black Market Stray Cat who says:
Β
>a LOLI WEEABOO FAGGOT
Firstly, I think the description you were looking for is "Tranime" as I don't think gay people would typically pick someone of the opposite gender. You know, Gay people like yours truly would want to look at a dude's ass, but my lust for short ripped jeans is too powerful
>Small Snake
Looking it up a bit later, Snivy is considered a "Grass Snake" pokemon. Makes sense, but I still think the feet he has still throws me off. I really appreciate your comment, so, in the words of Geoff Keighley
Continuing on from last time, We stop by Bianca's house where we see something very unusual. An American family, who doesn't want to kick their children out of their house, quite the opposite, Bianca's dad actively WANTS her to stay. I don't blame them, Bianca handed me her life savings not 5 minutes ago and it was only a couple hundred dollars, when even just own a shitty crackhouse in America, you need to be earning at least 6 figures a year.

His wife on the other hand, just believes her husband is being overprotective. Which idk, I feel like considering wild Pokemon are considered so dangerous that even just walking in a patch of tall grass without a Pokemon is basically suicide and Bianca is, just let say, not all there. Letting her go wandering the world by herself is a bit irresponsible.

We catch up with Professor Juniper, who...


Oh wow, thanks Cheren for cutting her off. Even he knows that I want the game to let me off the leash already.Β Juniper then asks us to name our Pokemon. I'll like to now formerly introduce our Starter, Painthiner


We then receive with Professor Juniper's expectation that we will be catching and raising every Pokemon we come across

...I then proceed to throw her hopes and dreams into the bin because that's not my play style
We walk outside and my mother gives me the slightly more useful tool of a Town Map

...Which I will also never use since I just drew Unova's map on the screen. Check it out.Β
Waffle House (End Point)
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Bumfuck, Nowhere
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Mexico Border (Starting Town)
Pretty accurate mapcharting skills if you ask me.
With our Pokedex thoroughly discarded and our Map already gathering dust. The three of us gets ready to go out on our Pokemon Adventure

...Until Juniper stops us... again.

She teaches us how to catch a Pokemon, which don't get me wrong, I appreciate the concern, but as a grown ass 24 year old man(child), I don't need this instruction. Maybe this'll be useful if I decide to replay Pokemon Platinum when I'm 80 years old and suffering from dementia.
She hands us her balls, and this is actually useful, and I'll be using this very shortly. Juniper runs ahead of us and now our new goal is to meet up with her in the next town.


Now that we are free to roam Route 1, I very shortly come across a wild Lillipup!

I'll actually be using Lillipup this run so I decided to catch this one. Now a female dog-like pokemon, there's a very obvious joke to be made here. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing LotusJuice (one word.)Β

Now why Lotus Juice, because the only dog Lotus Juice has in him, is a pure bred bitch. Oh and this nice lady gives us some potions, making her the most helpful person i've spoken to so far. Painthiner also just learnt how to whip other pokemon.


We eventually catch up with Professor Juniper, who gives us a tour around the Poke Center. We introduce ourselves to the Pokemon Nurse.Β

Which, Fun Fact, In the anime, turns out there's actually some extremely rare variants of the Pokemon Nurse so they don't all look the same. Even MatPat proposed a theory that this particular one was a shiny... MatPat, Mr. Gay Theory, I don't think that's a Shiny, I think that's just a black woman...

We familiarise ourselves with the PC which we immediately use to install Steam and we waste over 80 hours playing Balatro. As well as, the PokeMart staff which we keep eye on in case one of them decides to go near some train tracks.


After all this we see a public speech. Considering we live in Unova, I just hope this guy practiced his dodging skills, you never know who might be carrying a makeshift Pokegun. This is Ghetsis, and he's trying to convince to release the slaves, which I'm all for, this guy has my vote already. But the people in crowd tended to disagree or seem perplexed by what he is saying.

He realised he was in a Red State and they clearly didn't like being told that they shouldn't own slaves and skedaddles. The crowd breaks off with the only people left is Myself, Cheren and this mysterious guy. Who then later tells us his name is N.


And right before we start making assumptions about what does N stands for, he forces us into a battle.

He sends out a Purrloin and I bust out my Painthiner. Unfortunately, my best attack against him was Vine Whip, which considering the whole slavery debate we just had a few minutes and N is also on his crusade to free the pokemon, is in extremely bad taste on our end. I guess Game Freak really studied up on their America culture and history when designing this entry. I can see why it's a lot of people's favourite Pokemon game.

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