Lose.

It's such a simple thing I've wanted

Now finally I have it

Yet I still ache for more

Like an empty stomach with my fat all out in a bucket in a trash which I will never again bring home.

I want bruises on my body by my thirty year old groomer

I want candy then to purge it all out

Prolly sooner would be best since I hate when my stomach is aching and I need to use the toilet really, very bad

Gods, the pain.

I want muscle for ballet, but gotta starve to lose the weight

"Will my efforts be enough for this dirty game called being?"

I then proceed to wait and wail for hours, days every week

Waiting for my alarm to go off, showing me my streak

I want to step on the scale and see the numbers drop

Even when I starve it somehow still isn't enough

"Will trying harder even work? I keep pushing and still pushing.."

 But my energy's all gone from my days of reducing.