love makes up for a lot

It took me a long time to realize that many people who I viewed as so wonderful to me only seemed wonderful because of my love. And without my love, their actions didn't seem so soft, their words didn't carry the same warmth, and everything about them that I once romanticized didn't seem irreplaceable. I didn't love them; I loved what my love made of them, and my love made up for a lot. After noticing this, I started to uncover how many people in my life were using me, jealous, backstabbing, or forcing distance between us, all of which I plastered love over until concealed. I promised myself that I will not let myself be so consumed by my love for others that I have to deceive myself with a reflection of my love to cover up their absence of it. I want relationships in my life with real love, and how will love be real if I love my idea of a person, not who they actually are? 

If you have experienced what I did, if you let your love turn a bad person into a seemingly really good one, you never loved them; you loved with your love, so why hurt yourself seeking love before appreciating your own?