lovedrug

as i feel the spiders crawl over my skin i think about how it felt to hold you after graduation, the feeling of someone being proud of yourself and only yourself. my grandma trying to sneak a photo of us and i was holding your hand the entire time. as i listen to those words you so crafted for me, and pick bobby pins out of my carpet, i think of how your skin has touched the sheets laid across my bed. 

i look at my friend, so intoxicatingly in love, what is the meaning of dracaena sanderiana? tomorrows my birthday, i canceled my party, all i wish for is a word from you. maybe to feel the brush of your lips against mine, though i am unsure if i miss you or the person you once were. i wish we were them with their sickening love story, in which i am not sure the returning of is healthy for either, but im sure it would be wonderful for us. in some twisted way to relive the past i would drink myself half to death to make sure you had the world. some days i find myself missing you, or hating everyone, and i will reach for your voice to my own accord and the sound that returns to me makes my ears ring. where did you go? i know you made peace with us way before me, but i could never lay you to rest in my thoughts.

please yure, all i want is one word. all i want is you. whoever that may be. 

boldly, 

an imperfect shape of a girl, 

semi-sweet 

my bracelet is on my vanity.