Well this past month I have been watching a lot of media. I have been spending a lot of my time consuming film and television shows. This is something that is a part of me that I will never ever be able to let go of. Film has saved my life time and time again in a way that is not fully explainable but I think I will try.
I grew up in a severely abusive home, one where I was extremely isolated. Amongst all the violence there was always a movie or a tv show for me to get lost in. To relate to. To mirror back my own experiences. It is something that has allowed me not only to process emotions, process what it means to be human in a deeply beautiful yet fucked up world, but also has allowed me to explore more thoroughly the magic of what it means to create. To bring something to life. In a way that can hold another person even if you have never met them. There is something so special about film. And it really is the ultimate collaborative experience in regards to art and creation because it uses almost every single art form that exists.
Film is special to me to say the least. So it will always have a major focus in my life. But it is not super often that I come across a films that I fall forever in love with. I watch a lot of film to try and find as many of them as I can that do that for me. This month I was so lucky and grateful to find one of those films.
It is called CAMP (2025) and is directed by Avalon Fast. This film is a surreal fever dream that is whimsical and beautiful. But the most important thing I think to mention in regards to CAMP is that it is a container space for grief. For processing grief and coping with it. And learning how to let go and move forward. But it isn’t so direct which I adore in my films. It is sprinkled about witchcraft, flashbacks, crying spells, eerie quite moments and connection with community.
The whole time I watched the film I was in awe. In literal awe. The visuals are so dreamy. But the I remember feeling unsettled in a way that I couldn’t explain. Like there was something coming that I could feel but could not prepare myself for. It wasn’t until I got to the end of the film that I realized what it was. I spent a good ten minutes crying uncontrollably once the movie finished as I process and reflected on the ways in which this movie discuss grief.
Even as I type this I want to be able to find the words to put together to allow you all to get a glimpse or an understanding but I am struggling to find those words because of how metaphorical and visual the whole thing is. I definitely encourage you all to watch it and you can find it for rent on youtube currently. It is extremely dreamy, witchy, queer and blends beautifully the idea of coming into oneself through the death of the past. It holds this space of polarity and dualism in a complex way that is all important to the process of grief and what it does to a person and the ways it changes someone. I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW ICONIC AND AWESOME THIS FILM IS! Okay okay moving on though.
An Album I have been blasting on repeat recently is INFINITY SONG by Infinity Song. It is a four person group that blends harmonies, genres and sounds in such a fun, unique and creative way. They all really allow each other to shine through individually as well and have it so balanced when it comes to blending as a group but spotlighting each other individual gifts. This album is a wonderful blend of shoegaze, alt rock, dance, rnb and more. It is an album full of emotional processing.
I have been coping with a break up the past couple of months and this album has helped me to heal and has held me in so many different feelings that have come up. From lyrics like “ Can you leave the porch light on? I want to come home.” from Sayonara. Which is already making tear up typing it out. To “You got one foot out go ahead and let the other one join it.” from One Foot Out. This complex shifting feelings of wanting to turn back time to face the love you wish you hadn’t lost to remembering exactly why it had to go.
Sayonara by Infinity Song| A colors show
This album has held and healed me in ways that are also hard for me to speak of. It allowed me the room to fully process my pain, my regrets, my joys in a space that I cannot get back to again. But it also helped me let go of it all too. All the while still being something that I want to move my hips too, dance and skate too. The whole thing is seeped in healing energy. I highly recommend checking them out and listening to their other albums as well.
Alright that is all for this little media corner update! Though there is much more I could talk about truly, these two are the most that have emotionally impacted me since the last time I updated my little media corner. I hope you all find many art forms out there that hold you in your full emotional body and allow you to open up more and more to the world. As for me I will probably keep blasting this album and keep exploring more. I look forward to seeing what comes up next.
XOXO Angel
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