more persona cuz i dont want to bother my friends

i cant get over it i feel it taking over my life............ thaats literally ALL i think about. i buy everything color coordinated to p5, ive bought the same persona games on MULTIPLE platforms just because i could, all of my money is going to merch, i feel like im losing my MIND!!!!!!! and i feel bad because none of my friends like persona and i keep talking about it to them and i feel like im bothering them even though they go along with it and i want to KILL MYSELF and then when i talk to my only persona friend i have i feel like im being too ANNOYING ABOUT IT and that its all i talk about and i just want to claw my face offff......... i literally find myself stressed and i get up and walk over to my persona merch and stare at it to calm down....... ive lost my fucking mind !!! but its also the best thing ever !!!!!!!!!! 😢