My ARFID and how my life is with it

I developed ARFID pretty recently. It was within the past year, just after my birthday (October of 20205). It wasn’t because of autism or anything, but I ate bad ramen during school lunch and threw up. Nothing had digested. It was so gross that I stopped eating anything I’d be able to see if I threw up. All solids are off the table. I eventually got over it for the most part and was about to eat soft leaning solids like sushi, cakes, etc. Fast forward. I was eating a waffle and I choked. I threw up and it happened again. Nothing was digested. Now I’m back to soups and bread and ice cream and popsicles. 

How I get more than 1200 calories:

Creamy soups, soups with stuff like cheese or soft vegetables that I will chew thoroughly, dipping bread in my soup, adding protein and extra carbs anyway that I can.

How I get vitamins and nutrients I need:

Drinks and supplements. I take pills or eat soft gummies. I take hair growth supplements because I lose a lot of hair when this happens to the point that is falls out in clumps. I drink minerals and smoothies.

Why there are no benefits (for people who think like my grandma):

Losing weight is NOT permanent if you fully recover. You will gain some weight back, if not more than you started with. Thats how I got really fat recently. 

You lose hair, your nails don’t grow as long, you feel sick, you get constantly tired, and you get depressed. You can’t go out to eat without wanting to throw up at the scent of food. You can’t get food with your friends because you feel hungry the entire time, but just can’t eat. 

You need new clothes that you won’t fit when you recover but your old clothes don’t fit you quite as well.

The worst part?

Therapy. 

Exposure therapy. People watch you eat food until you’re better. I hate when people watch me. You start out with your safe foods, then a slightly harder food but still okay, a food you’re a little uncomfortable with, heavily uncomfortable with, and something you can’t eat. If your eating disorder gets bad enough, your family can make you go to a clinic where you have to stay with a roommate and you all have different eating disorders. It’s pretty much a mental ward. This is prime territory for guys who like control and guys who are pedophiles. You may stay with kids or adults, skinny or fat people, but in the end, most of the people there will get creeped on. 

And don’t get me started on if you don’t even try to recover.

Malnutrition, metabolism slowing, and some people even need to be fed by a tube. For those who don’t know, some people with ARFID get so bad that they need a tube that goes through the nostril and into the stomach that give you a daily calorie intake and nutrients.

These are very real consequences for anorexia, too.

Eat what you need. Be careful losing weight. Don’t glorify any eating disorders