my cat died 3 years ago and i'll never get over it

Needed a place to write about it, so I think it's the one.

Her name was Mimine aka Moon, she was my childhood cat with who I spent most of my life with, and her death genuinely breaks me any time I think about her.

3 years ago, the vet diagnosed her with a disease I couldn't even name right now. To make it short, a hole was starting to form in her tongue, a kind of necrosis, that progressively could not allow her to drink, eat or clean herself. She suffered so much, that makes me sick.

Time passed, the vets tried absolutely everything they could to heal her (i'm grateful for this, despite everything they were amazing). But everytime I came to visit, her health was getting worse, she was dirty and had lost weight. The most painful but beautiful thing I remember from this, is how she could find the strenght to get up and walk to me to hug me so deeply any time I came, she wouldn't let me go, dugging her claws in my t-shirt like she knew I would leave.

After weeks of efforts, we just couldn't keep her alive anymore, she was suffering too much. So on the 5th of July, 2023, I saw her breathing for the last time. Worst day of my entire existence.

When I'm telling y'all this was the cat of my life, I'm not exaggerating enough, because she was SO MUCH MORE. She was my soulmate, I've met plenty of people in my life and I don't even think I've ever had such a deep connection with a living being. We couldn't be too far away from each other, she didn't wanted to be carried or pet by any other human than me, I just love her so much and the fact I'll never be able to feel her paws on my chest or her fur on my skin is devastating. I can't help but cry if I watch a single video of her.

I miss her SO bad, she didn't deserve an end like this, I wish she had never existed so she would have never died.