my problem with aesthetics

January 11th 2026 

Boxes, boxes, boxes. self-expression or imitation? 

we all know them. aesthetics. the videos glorifying each as the best and bringing people of similar taste together. we’ve all probably been there at some point. grunge, clean girl, preppy, boho, academia, goth, lolita, and many, many more.

its not really a bad thing because you can fit yourself in a group. maybe it makes you feel less lonely and more like you actually fit in somewhere. maybe you just also really like the style and take inspiration in it. I see no problems here.

but sometimes, I feel like, it goes a bit too far. when one style or aesthetic becomes trendy it becomes very superficial very fast. people force themselves into outfits to be part of something — it doesn’t even have to be trending for that. perhaps it becomes a fixation, an obsession for trying to find yourself and you’ve fit yourself so aggressively into that shell, into that box that now it almost feels like home. it feels safe. because you know it. and suddenly you find things, bags, stickers, accessories that you consider pretty but you dont get them. even if the price is good and there’s no actual problem…except: ‘this ring doesn’t fit into my vibe, I wouldn’t know which outfit to wear it with. its not my aesthetic but id buy it if I had more clothes in that aesthetic.’

sounds almost reasonable, no? a good deal: you didn’t spend money on something you might not have worn a lot anyways. until you still think about that ring weeks later. maybe there’s even a small bit of resentment in you for how you handled that situation.

and per chance you realise: you’ve put yourself into a box again. one, that, just like so many others, feels a little bit suffocating sometimes. but here’s the hook: humans need boxes in a way. if we can’t somehow identify ourselves we fall into some crises about how we dont know our actual self and can’t connect to people who’d do us good. it feels safe knowing who you are, or who you’re not. but we shouldn’t cage ourselves in like that; we should learn to draw lines, to know the differences. 

the introspection of your own kinda gets distorted by aesthetic judgment and undermines the self-expression that fashion should be based on and come with. do you really like this or do you want to like it? when youre hunting a certain image, that isn’t you, too harshly, do you loose yourself in the process or do you simply become it? is this still your own individuality? are you expressing yourself or imitating another? 

it all claims universal validity while fundamentally coming from subjective feelings and concepts. 

when I noticed some of the thoughts above flowing around in my own head I decided to act on it. I chose to see aesthetic rather as an inspiration rather than something I want and have to be in order to be accepted. all these saved pins and posts and things turned from a would-fit-perfect into how-would-it-resonate-better-with-me. sure, if you dont have the necessary tools and abilities to create or change the things you see online to your liking you will have to buy it like that or search until you find a more accurate one.the world isn’t perfect, or maybe it is like this.

still, where does the box end and the cage begin? where are you “just” identifying yourself with something and where ‘does it suddenly not fit’ anymore?

sometimes I wonder if its just the names….if the styles hadn’t names, would they still be boxes to fit in? but then again, could we identify without names? 

I ask myself these questions every now and then, sometimes while reading, sometimes while shopping and sometimes when it should be the last thing I think about. maybe I think too much about it. but ill leave it here like this for you to make up your own opinion.