my view on Christianity

I grew up Protestant. I went to a couple different churches growing up, one of which publicly shamed me for being queer every time I showed up after they found out through my mom. This led me away from Christianity between the ages 12-15. During this time, I explored many different religions and beliefs. I tried Hellenic polytheism, all kinds of paganism, witchcraft, even satanism. Close to my 16th birthday I decided to step foot into a church again, except this time we were episcopal. This church welcomed me with open arms despite all of my problems and despite the fact I identify as bisexual and non binary. There are plenty of queer people at this church, I finally felt welcome again. However, I still didn’t believe the “traditional” christian beliefs, but I did like the idea. I liked what Jesus had to say. So I decided to look more deeply into the bible and everything Jesus taught.

I believe the biggest issue is the fact that people have taken the Bible too literally. Adam and Eve, Noah's Arc, etc. is all mythology. Every religion has it. For example, the ancient Greeks had mythology of their gods and goddesses, but they were simply stories. Stories to teach the people lessons. I think this is what the Bible was also meant to be: mostly metaphorical. I believe that God is not a man in the sky, nor is heaven or hell a physical place. I believe God is the universe itself. God is in everything, and we are made from the universe, therefore God is also in us. The seven days that God took creating everything was the big bang, the beginning of the universe. Heaven and hell are both states of consciousness. Like in Buddhism there is the state of “enlightenment”. It’s all similar stuff.

Jesus was trying to teach us to be like him, which should be obvious because it’s literally said in almost every church sermon, but a lot of people, in my opinion, seem to dismiss that or not understand what it truly means. We also need to keep in mind the bible is ancient. It has been rewritten and translated over and over by many different people. It is bound to be mistranslated. I think “sins” were created to drive us away from things that might harm us. They aren’t necessarily “rules.” Like the idea that you shouldn't have sex before marriage.. I think maybe he said that because then you know for sure you are marrying someone who loves YOU, not just your body. Whether you decide to actually wait until marriage is up to the individual. After researching I believe if I had to call myself something exactly, I'd say that I'm a pantheist. However I also believe in Jesus and what he taught and try to follow him, so I honestly just don't label myself. Christian-ish, pantheist-ish...lol. I also still go to my local episcopal church, and honestly it’s the only place at the moment where I can truly feel at peace. I used to not feel Jesus or God, I never understood people “feeling” him. But now that I have realized so much, I finally feel at peace with my beliefs.