poem I wrote :>

Letting go of the Leash

-*Hiii!! I don't write much poetry but I wanted to let this one escape my notes app teehee*-

My biggest fear
is my mind.

I keep it on a leash

wrapped tight around my fist

as if it were something feral,

something that might bolt at the sound of a memory.

I keep
losing my
 grip.

The leash,
it slips.

It falls to the floor, into the mud

And in that split second 

before I can snatch it back up 

It has already started running.

It runs to the forbidden phrases.

The taboo confessions.

The words that bubble like soap in my mouth

The innocent memories that are now twisted,

calculating, guilt, vulnerability.

Now happiness feels archival.

And the worst part is not the sadness.

It’s the comparison.

Because every time my mind slips the leash,

I think back to old versions of myself.

I was free range.

I miss the happy girl that was kind,

optimistic.

Sometimes when my mind gets pretty far away,

And I am calling out to it.

I realize that there is really nothing I can do.

For just a moment,

I want to just let it run, throw the leash

away.

:)